bedtime reading

A blog about change

http://www.thechangeblog.com/

Lots of interesting articles about well, life and living.

sunday inspiration

I like these TED talks you know? I especially get into them when I am down and out like today. This one is given by Aimee Mullins and is about the Opportunity of Adversity. My good friend sent it to me this morning to help lift the clouds.

I want to say more...

Tracey Emin.
You may know of her, and if you do, you probably have some strong feelings regarding her art. What I am trying to say is that you may love her or hate her (and her work), but it is unlikely that she ever stirs up indifference. I personally have oscillated between feeling like she is pure genius vs. a total hack that has duped us all. Actually, I only very briefly disliked her when I discovered that her father was a Turkish diplomat and that she got to go to posh art schools in London. Those facts tarnished my romantic ideals of authenticity at the time, but I am over it now, and have settled on believing that she is raw and full of gutsy talent.

I first came across her in the tail end of the 1990s, when news of her sensational piece "My Bed" had shaken up the art world. Forgive me because I am not so good at remembering the details (and not in the mood to fact check), but it sold for some ridiculous amount. It was a bed she had slept, cried, bled, eaten and had sex in. The sheets were stained with despair. This bed was put on display and someone bought it for alot of money. I had such a bed at the time, if only I had thought to sell it...

Much of her work deals with rape and abortion and matters of love, sex and the heart. It is uncensored and candid in a way that is rarely matched. I was lucky enough to look at some of her work in person when I was lost and broke and living in London. Amazing how a few words scribbled on a page (or a wall) can electrify.

most influential book #2- Women's Bodies Women's Wisdom by Dr. Christiane Northrup

I have read this book cover to cover many, many times over. I lend out/ give this book away constantly. I have bought 5 copies of it in the last 10 years. This book is my bible! First thing I ever read about taking your intuition seriously and not drowning your health issues in pharmaceuticals. Dr. Northrup teaches us that the body is wise and we should listen to it. She taught me that maybe my ovaries were exploding because I was doing work that I hated or stifling my creativity. What I love best about this book is that it appeals to the masses because it was written by an open minded MD who happens to be into chakras and intuitive healing, but is never flakey. Guaranteed to change the way you think about your body and your health.

belly full of fire

If you know me well, you will know that I love dance and musical theatre of all sorts. I don't care if the effort is amateur or polished, I will ferociously applaud anyone with enough guts to get up on stage in front of people and perform! I was at the resort show every night in Dominican and I loved every second of it!!


What I loved most was this: the dancers came in all shapes and sizes! The women (and the men too!) were tall, short, heavy set, waifish, light skinned, dark skinned, curvy, glamorous, plain, EVERYTHING! It was  so exciting because sadly you would never see that in North America in a dance show. There were beautiful bare bellies of all descriptions and not one of those dancers was self conscious. 


I want to include this article from Sexis  because it is a brilliant read! Enjoy:

Fire in the Belly: Self-Love and Navel Gazing 
By G.L Morrison


My lover made up a modern proverb: “A woman who loves her belly loves her body.” I don’t think it will catch on. It’s true that women, particularly modern women in Western culture, have a love-hate (or even a hate-hate) relationship with their bellies. Why? What did that sweet bump of skin (located as it is under the two much glamorized and beloved fat-bags) do to deserve such scorn?

The High Cost of Low Self-Esteem

“I think it would be nice if hating the way you look weren't so good for the economy...We know, too, that women in ads, knockouts to start with, are artificially perfected beyond human emulation. We know, but we forget.”
—Anne Bolin

Your skin is too dry. Your hair is too flaky. You can pinch an inch. You smell “not so fresh.” Your clothes are out of style. Your pimples are huge. You have bad breath. Literally hundreds of industries depend on your believing all that. There are the primary offenders: the people who make shampoo and mouthwash and diet sodas. Then there are the secondary offenders, the accomplices: the people who make their money from advertising said products. That’s ad agencies, television stations, newspaper, radio, and magazines—and all their shareholders. A lot of people are depending on you to hate yourself enough to pay to put their kids through college.

And along the skin highway between two favored recreation spots is a much-overlooked delight. The belly.

 Belly History

“The ideal shape tends to be whatever is most difficult to achieve during a given time period. If too many women were able to meet the ideal, then standards would have to change for the ideal to retain its extraordinary nature.”
—Pauline Weston Thomas, Fashion-era.com

Circa 24,000-22,000 BCE, the Venus of Willendorf was the hottest chick around. Literally the oldest representation of a person, Ms. Willendorf is the ultimate BBW. Beautiful round belly exposed; the figurine is carved with attention to detail, right down to her fat dimpled knees.

Something happened between 24,000 BCE and 1800 CE and bellies got the worst of it. The Victorians, (so sexually uptight they covered up furniture legs as too suggestive!) may not have invented, but certainly perfected the corset. The “new ideal woman” was plump of hip, butt and breast but belly-bound. Restrictive corsets caused a variety of health problems with breathing and digestion; forcing the fashion victim’s internal organs to migrate as they were literally squeezed out of the belly in favor of the “hourglass” figure.

 I, Belly: Present Tense

“Loving yourself in a world of hate is the most radical, the most political thing you can do.”
—G.L. Morrison, from Weighing Desire

I am a SSBBW. Super-sized, Big, Beautiful Woman. My belly would make Ms. Willendorf gasp with envy. And yes, I do own a bikini or two. (I prefer to swim nude but so few pools accommodate that. We took over the hotel pool at NAAFA fat feminist conferences to go “chunky dunking”—that’s big girl speak for “skinny dipping.”)

The past is not a blueprint for the future. I am committed to live my life the way I want and to create the world I want to live in. So far, my influence hasn’t extended to ending war or world hunger, but I personally have helped hundreds of women love their belly bumps... and get jiggy with each jiggly roll.

I’ve read my happy fat poems all across the country, and women of all sizes come up and thank me; and tell me stories of struggle toward self acceptance. I have had dozens, possibly hundreds (who has time to count?) of lovers whose big, beautiful bodies are reflected lovingly in my eyes. I tell them what is sexy often enough they believe it, know it. Together we are making a “new ideal woman” for the future. She is full of herself. She has a belly full of fire. A big, beautiful belly.

Every day isn’t a hailstorm of self-applause. I have moments of weakness and intolerance. Weird moments in the mirror; not recognizing who I see there. Flashback 1982: First trimester of my pregnancy, I rubbed lotion into my scar-free skin every night. The routine waned as my belly waxed: huge, pale as a full moon. By week 30, my belly was an angry melon someone had attacked with a fork. 2010: Red, swollen welts like tire-tracks still cover it.

An important part of self-love is surrounding myself with good mirrors. Love is the best mirror. I don’t accept lovers who don’t love me big and delicious as I am. It’s impossible to watch your lover trace your scars or wide curves with pleasure and fascination and not catch some of his/her enthusiasm. How can you scorn something someone you love worships?

 Belly, Belly Well

“Lifting belly fattily. Doesn’t that astonish you.
You did want me.
Say it again.”
—Gertrude Stein

How do I love my belly, when billions of dollars every year is spent teaching me (and others) to hate it/me? Just remembering: This is my body, not their billboard. I live here. I love here. I feel what’s right “in my gut.” I hold days and thoughts and certain hours in every cell. History is etched in my DNA. My history and the history of every big-bellied woman in my bloodline back to the big, fat dawn of time. My body remembers all that; it stretches with what I fill it with. My ample hip remembers the lips that lovers pressed there while their kisses traveled the generous road of belly. The rippling belly swells to remember my last lover, my first child and a hundred dinners (breaded crab on a jazz-blasted balcony in Bourbon Street; the cheap magic of chili dogs; dim sum one New York Sunday; all-you-can-eat sushi Sundays in Salt Lake City). There is hardly room for the memories I am storing there. There is no room for self-doubt. And when some creeps in, I crowd it out with all the good belly stuff. Chase it away with a heart-felt belly laugh.

i've missed you

Forgive my absence. I have been away on perhaps the most eventful vacation to date and am still shaking my head and trying to settle back into daily life. Not an easy task to go back to mundane routine when somehow your mind has changed about everything!! I experienced biblical weather, civil unrest, men with guns, foreign languages, bus rides, broken planes, delays and confusion, beaches, buffet food, in-laws, stomach issues, camera problems, family bonding, new friends, ideas, novel reading, sun tanning, no internet/phone or mobile reception, swimming in the ocean and perspective. 

Every time I visit a developing country I remember how lucky I am and how spoiled we are in the Western world. What can I say? It is beautiful to be away from our excess, but so very hard to come back to it.